Who takes care of Mommy when Mommy gets sick? LOL

Life has been busy the last few weeks. The older two are back in school, and life just seems to move on faster and faster each day. I can honestly say that I rarely have the opportunity to say that my life is boring! :)

So, the big news is that Mommy is sick. Now when one of the kids gets sick, we all know who is there to dose out medicine, tuck little bodies under the blanket on the couch. But who takes care of Mommy when Mommy gets sick? Mommy!

My youngest has had a cough for a couple of weeks, but it's been seemingly benign. He hasn't had any other major symptoms, except for a one-day isolated runny nose this last weekend. The rest of us have all been healthy which leads me to believe he brought this thing home from the daycare center.

And, of course, now Mommy has it! Only Mommy's version involves possible bronchitis and walking pneumonia. Two days ago I felt fine. Then, BAM! This thing knocked me on my rear. So I am now on an inhaler and antibiotics, and trying to rest as three little whirlwinds run through the house! HOW FUNNY! ! !

Well, one sick day is enough. I'm back to work, although I did pre-clear a shortened day with my boss. I figure if I push it too much, he'll have to pick up the slack when I'm knocked flat on my back in bed. Hehe

So, tonight it's off to bed early with meds and all those goodies. Back to the grind tomorrow. And, yes, Mommy tries to take very good care of herself, but the world won't stop spinning!

Where did He go? Not a vacation in N'Awlins

So I haven't personally heard anyone say it yet, but I know that it is only a matter of time before I hear a non-believer say, "So if God is real, where is He right now? How could He let something like this happen?" My boss is a non-believer, and I can tell during our discussions of the devastation that these kinds of thoughts are running through his mind.

Where is God in all of this? God is in every single person across the world who has flooded the American Red Cross website and hotline to donate money to the disaster relief fund. God is in every family who is giving up a dinner at McDonald's or a movie trip this weekend, so they can give just that much more to those who are in desperate need. God is in every person who has volunteered to go down to the areas afffected in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida. God is in every government who has turned their arenas into shelters. God is in every nurse and doctor in the area who are taking turns, by hand, keeping critically ill patients alive without the assistance of water and electricity. God is in the government who is enlisting monetary help from other nations and from its citizens to help in this time of such great need.

How could God let all of this happen? It says in the Bible that God does not wish that anyone should perish, suffer, die, be displaced. So how is it that He let this happen? Because He loved us so much that He gave us free will. And from the very beginning in the Garden, Adam and Eve "chose" to have knowledge of good AND evil. Sin is a presence in our world. And the presence of sin in our world is what has led us to where we are. It is easy to point out sin. . .looting, violence, disease. God allows these things because He didn't create us to be puppets. He gave us minds, and unfortunately, our minds are capable of horrible things.

But God is still here. He is still watching. He is crying as He watches the elderly and the very young die in the wake of the hurricane. He is crying as He watches His children fight, loot, and keep others from being saved. He is smiling as millions give to help their brothers and sisters, their neighbors, complete strangers. He is smiling as single mothers give sacrificially to help. He is smiling as He sees His own mobilize transportation to get people out of those areas.

And in this disaster, He is strong. We often trust in our own abilities. We can do it on our own, we think. But we can't. And sometimes, it takes a disaster to make that clear.

God will be glorified as we rebuild the lives of these people. Christians will give money, their time, their homes to those in needs. And so will many others. God will be glorified through these acts of help.

God has been in New Orleans for hundreds, if not thousands of years. We may not have seen Him there, but He has always been there. Now He's calling to us to show everyone that He has not left.

Do what you can. No gift is insignificant. No sacrifice too little.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the Lord, ' and I will bring you back from the place where I sent you into exile." --Jeremiah 29:11-14

At the end of my rope. . .

So, okay, I suppose we all have days where it seems like all the lights turn green just before we get to them, everyone holds the door open and says, "You first," and other odd niceties. And then we all have days where it seems like everything in the universe is set into motion to defy and/or aggravate you. I've been having lots of the second kind of days. . .days when I'm at the end of my rope.

The next year is to be filled with many, many changes. My children will be in three different places each day. We are running here and there and everywhere going to therapy and doctors' appointments. I'm going back to school. Surgery (x2) for my oldest boy. When will it calm down?

I don't know. And simply put. . .I'm not in charge or control of many parts of life-- in fact, all of it. I just seem to be along for the ride. And at the moment, it feels somewhat like holding onto a length of rope tied behind a four-wheeler that's racing around wildly. I'm hanging on for dear life, but I'm just about at the point where I have no choice but to let go.

It's a scary place really. If I let go, will I land somewhere safe? Will I get run over by a herd of moose? Will I roll around dizzy from the ride and in shock?

Who knows? ! ?

That's the crux of the whole matter. GOD KNOWS!

I'm not really a control freak, but there are certain things in my life that I want a say in, or at least a modicum of control over. But it seems that the more that I want that control, the less I actually have it.

And that's okay. (I think, LOL!)

See what I'm learning is that I'm never really in control. I tell myself stories about how well I controlled this or that situation, but the reality is that my life, my input, is but a blip in the history of the world and mankind. Now I'm not saying that to say that I am not important or significant. I know that God created me with a purpose and a plan. But the reality is that in the big picture, I am just a speck. I contribute to the final image, but alone, I have no definition.

I am learning that each time I want to control something, especially something that even I can admit I don't really have control over, I am simply saying to God that I don't trust His perfect plan for my life. HOW FOOLISH!

So starting a couple of days ago, I started praying that God would help me really submit my life to Him. All of it. Not just the parts that I "think" it's okay to let go of, but all of it. The actions of others that hurt or annoy me. The moral values of others and the choices that go along with them and destroy the "world" I want to live in. I'm letting go of it.

I'm not exactly loving every minute of it. Honestly, if were up to me, I could spend hours and hours each day telling God exactly how He should make so-and-so act, how things should work in my life, and in other people's lives. But that is not submission, faith, or trust. That is me, in fear, trying to control the things that I cannot and ending up hurt, frustrated, annoyed, etc. even further.

There are many variables in the near future. All of them are things that I wish I could foretell or control, but have no ability to do either. And so, since I can't change anything but my desire to trust and follow God, my prayer has become just that. Father, Help me learn to let go of my rope. I know You will take care of me. You are always/still in control.

So here's to letting go of the rope.

SO I'M ABOUT TO LET GO, AND LIVE WHAT I BELIEVE
I CAN'T DO A THING NOW, BUT TRUST THAT YOU'LL CATCH ME
WHEN I LET GO. . . .