To the one I cannot stop loving

I dedicate this to the only one who broke my heart, and to the one I can't forget.

Like a wheel stuck in the mud,
My desire to be free of you is bound.
I try to wiggle myself free,
But the chains tighten around my limbs.

I have cried out to let me go,
And once I believed I might be free.
Then the dreams began to haunt me again,
And I found I was still tied tightly to you.

I asked the Lord to take it away,
For I knew you could not complete me.
He made me whole again,
But my desire was not released.

I tried to run away from you,
But found I had run a circle around you.
I tried once to replace you,
But found that none could compare to you.

You took my life and tore it apart,
And I knew that I should stay away,
Yet my heart and my mind
Seem to be absolute strangers to each other.

I want to kiss you goodbye.
I want to leave you.
I want to forget you.
But I can’t.

I have spent three years praying that I could move on,
Only to find that where you are is where I long to be.
I long for the day when you held me and loved me,
Like a wanderer in the desert longs for water.

I continue to pray to be made whole,
So that I can survive in a world without you.
And I’ve learned that I can survive,
But my deepest desire is still you.